The Intersection of Motherhood & Shared Leadership

Sharing leadership is not limited to the business world. Once you start practicing the principles of sharing leadership and sharing power, you might notice that the effects are transformative across all parts of your life—including parenthood.

This Mother’s Day, we’re sharing reflections from mothers of the Global Round Table Leadership ensemble on how learning to share leadership, power, responsibility, and meaning has influenced their experience of motherhood.

Be Willing to Go First 

Reflections by Lori Hanau, Global Round Table Leadership Founder & Principal

In both myself and the teams I work with, I notice how often we point fingers at each other as if the dynamic is “over there” with the other person. Our focus is often extended away from ourselves. Time is wasted, and teams are diminished when we’re unwilling to own our behavior first. Humility, vulnerability, and mindfulness are required to shift the direction of our gaze and finger-pointing--- profound teaching for me as a mother!

The other day, I was arguing with one of my sons. We were directing our attention to how “the other” person had hurt us. My son shared very heatedly with me the impact on my communication with him when I had been worried about him. He told me that I’d led from my stress and hurt him with my delivery. At first, I was a bit shocked, even a little outraged. I thought, but it wasn’t me – he was the one who had hurt me!

And then I paused, took a deep breath, and looked with fresh eyes at our texts. My son was right; I did write in a more hurtful way than I intended or even realized that I had done. And yet, I could still argue that my stressed response was due to his behavior.

So, I took another breath, slowed myself down, and remembered the Ensemble Principles. Within our Shared Leadership Framework, we offer the Principles of the Ensemble as a way to show up well with each other, build quality relationships and work meaningfully together, heartening each other and lifting each other up.

I often consider the fourth principle: Be willing to go first. That means setting the example, being willing to be vulnerable, taking a risk, and getting things started. I had to risk my tenderness and my righteous position.

Why should I do this? To heal, not harm. Which meant letting go of being right and hanging on to my position. Instead of leading with defense and pointing my finger out at him, I turned inward. And I learned a bit more about letting go instead of hanging on and opening up instead of closing down. I stepped in and apologized for any pain and suffering I had caused him, with no expectation – just a desire to own my actions, first and foremost.

And what happened next? My son stepped in after me, thanked me, and owned his actions that triggered my stress and upset. I was so moved. We set a new agreement and mutual practice to pause together and invite a deep breath in heated moments. A pause, a space: it opens the possibility of a healthier way of communicating, rather than leading from reactivity and defensiveness.

We left the conversation strengthened, the energy and space between us healed, humming with fresh inspiration.
Happy Mother’s Day, with blessings, love, and respect for all our forms of mothering!

The Art of Listening Deeply

Reflections by Melissa Whittemore, Global Round Table Leadership Executive Assistant

Sharing leadership has shaped my motherhood in so many ways. It’s given me the ability to slow down, ask questions, and listen. There’s an art to listening deeply, and it is a practice. Now I try to ask questions with curiosity and love.

By listening to my daughter’s fears and joys, I acknowledge her humanity and honor her process. As a mother, I’m not only proud of her, I’m in awe of who she is as a person, and I cherish her personhood! She’s intelligent, funny, and open, and I admire her courage, strength, and resilience.

Sharing leadership has helped me remember to be present in the moment rather than try to “fix” things with my ideas and thoughts. When we are solely focused on ourselves and “fixing it,” it’s only about you and not the group. In addition, these tools have developed my relationship with my daughter, together as a team, bringing us closer rather than creating distance.

Mothering is a constant dance of emotions, questions, struggles, and changes, but so are work environments! So how do we shape, move, and grow through these times and show up with care, trust, love, and openness? It’s an ongoing journey of self-reflection.

Through shared leadership, I realize that my personal life, professional life, and even my mothering are intertwined. Each of these is simply part of me, my circle of wholeness. It’s helped me understand some of my trauma and insecurities. For example, I’m learning to work through my triggers as a mother, such as when she doesn’t listen or does something that I wouldn’t recommend. I lose her trust and our connection in the frustration of wanting her to be a certain way – of wanting control. I remember to pause and listen deeply in those moments, both to my daughter and my intuition.

A lot of times, there is no one answer. Sometimes the area is gray, and I might not understand or see the answer for a long time. But, I’ve learned to ask questions, acknowledge when I don’t know, and bring in others, creating a team. My journey through motherhood and sharing leadership allows me to see the importance and beauty of “imperfections” like these.

It is my true joy to be a mom, and I learn so much from her every day. So here is our journey, who we are, and who we are becoming!

It can be so powerful to realize we’re all in this together! Connect with the Global Round Table Leadership team on LinkedIn. We share strategies for sharing leadership and power, inspiration from executives & teams doing the work, and practice together alongside a network who cares. 💙